All That You Hold Dear
by Gothic Thorn
Summary: Fluttershy confesses her feelings for Twilight Sparkle. Twilight, being the rational pony that she is, doesn't take it well. Flutter Sparkle/Twilishy onesided? Only hinted mature content, should be K plus plus, but I'll say T just in case.


Grey clouds gave just enough moonlight to turn the surrounding forest into a widow's veiled face at a funeral. Fluttershy's face, that wasn't all that bright to begin with, looked sickly pale, almost white, outlining the bags under her eyes.

Fluttershy should have been shivering. Why wasn't she shivering? She was standing her ground against the beginnings of the storm. After a moment she let the rain plaster her mane to her face. Her eyes were not a bit puffy as tears oozed out of the dark circles lining them.

Twilight was not going to let her in.

* * *

Earlier that day the sun had rolled through a crystal clear blue sky, not showing the smallest of hints that a storm would hit. Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy had taken the day off and met at a simple café for tea. The pink teacups had shown brightly as Twilight—Fluttershy had been more quiet than usual— made polite conversation. Fluttershy had smiled at the appropriate internals, but Twilight could tell something was on her mind.

At one particular pause Fluttershy had dropped her weak smile and stared gravely at her teacup. Her eyes had grown wide, and their shine became brighter. The skin around them, had just hinted at a concerned expression.

"Twilight..." She had turned her bright gaze to the violet mare. Her eyes had grown even wider, her eyebrows arced to show concern and yet didn't block a single piece of her giant eyes.

"Twilight... I..." Fluttershy's voice had lacked it usual timidness. What could be so distressing?

"Go right ahead, Fluttershy... you know you can tell me anything."

"Oh. Okay Umm..." the timidness had returned. "I'm not sure how to go about saying this... Twilight I think I... well I know I..." her voice had grown to a squeak, "I like you."

_She _liked_ her? Like in a _homosexual_ way?_

"I thought like any mare I'd want my somepony special to be a stallion... it's not that I _like_ mares either... It's just. I like you, Twilight." Her words had began to flow easily. "I think you have so many talents, and you're always so modest about them. You can always keep a level head... and how you can plan things... you just think in a different way than everypony else. There are so many things I admire about you. You're just so oblivious to how unique you are." Tears had weld up in her eyes. "It can just be so frustrating when you don't understand how... how _brilliant_ you are! I want to spend hours with you... explaining it to you... trying to get you to understand! With more than just my words..."

_What was wrong with her?_ _To be _with_ Fluttershy?_ Her mind would not let her picture it. It was beyond wrong. Disgusting and against nature! Someone could have just suggested an incestuous relationship with her brother! Mares and Stallions choose each other for a life companion because they'd have the instinctual want to reproduce. It did not make sense for a mare to want another mare for a life companion if they could not have children, or even sex for that matter without the use of— She felt sick to her stomach.

Fluttershy had seen the bitter disgust encrusted on Twilight Sparkle's face. She had crossed a line and she could never uncross it.

Twilight had seen Fluttershy try without success to hold in her tears.

* * *

The library filled with lightning. Twilight was snapped out of her memory as she heard the thunder. Twilight wandered onto her balcony. Why wouldn't Fluttershy leave? She should go home in this awful storm.

Raindrops hit the violet mare like thick drops of spit.

"I wasn't going to tell you, you know!" Fluttershy shouted over the wind and thunder. "It's something I've always planned and thought about but would never ever actually do! You were just so comforting! ...You said I could tell you _anything_!"

She was stung. Twilight had in fact said Fluttershy could tell her anything.

"Can't we just forget how I feel? I need you in my life, Twilight! Even if it's not the role I want most. Can we _please_ go back to being friends?"

_Back to being friends_?_ Fluttershy _liked_ her._Twilight couldn't stand the thought of being around a mare who was thinking impure thoughts about her. That wasn't going to go away. It would be forever netted into the back of her mind whenever she was around her. What friendship could they possibly have now? Every sentence drawn out into silence until it reached it's absolute breaking point, only to be taken by the other pony and answered slowly. Awkwardly. Uncomfortably. Painfully. How was she going to write about this to the princess? "Dear Princess Celestia, sometimes you find out things you wish you didn't have to know about your friends. You still have to be friends though." Right? Could she abandon her? No. Fluttershy was her friend. Why did this have to happen to her? How could she look at her with the same blind hatred she had shown so many of the nameless mares and stallions that would walk side by side in homosexual relationships? Who she would find walking in front of her, on the benches she'd stroll past, everywhere she'd turn. How they'd get closer and closer to each other until they would kiss. They're lips always pressing harder and finding more surface area that any straight couple she'd ever seen. How it would strike the very pit of her stomach at what felt had to be her uncomfortable and sick glands residing there. How she could never look away fast enough. She couldn't view someone she cared about as much as Fluttershy in this way could she? Her whole point in living in ponyville was to learn about the magic of friendship, wasn't it? How she had to accept who her friends were even if... and Fluttershy was obviously afraid in this and she shouldn't let her struggle with something like this alone. Friends stood by friends...

Twilight crept closer up the balcony. Fluttershy was waiting for her answer below, the rain was falling harder than ever. Thoughts crashed through Twilight's mind like waves. She took in the air to say yes. What was stopping her? She told herself to just say it! More crashing waves of thoughts. Her final answer. The one she finally used her breath on was surprisingly firm.

"No."

Fluttershy's eyes grew wide with terror. For a moment Twilight thought she saw a glimpse of the old Fluttershy. The one that still had a spirit left to be broken. The one that didn't have the biggest regret of her life be telling Twilight the truth of how she felt about her. Twilight couldn't stand to see Fluttershy become like this. Or become the Fluttershy that stood her ground again raging storms, either. Even though Twilight couldn't see herself changing her mind anytime soon she knew this wasn't the end of this. Twilight knew she was going to keep herself trying. That made it a bit easier to add a bit more softly,

"No, Fluttershy... at least not right now."

* * *

I had something to say, and I found this as one way to say it. I've heard pretend Twilight's argument before and didn't really find it had a sound basis. Here is one way to combat it. Take that! Mystery person who will never know I even wrote this! And also, not every time when some one professes a gay crush on their friend do things turn out. Even in fan fiction. I wanted to have a time where it didn't have a cute ending be thrown into the mix of happiness. Sorry pretend Fluttershy. And I'm sure real Twilight would find as many holes in her pretend argument as I did. I don't own the characters.


End file.
